I wanted to mention Bingmanch’s wonderful comment on Garrison’s forthcoming ascension. He raises one of the most simple and best questions yet, Columbo-style.
It goes something like this: Garrison fanboys can only seem to offer that “the role of a college president has changed, dood,” and that “It’s all about fundraising anyway, man.”
OK then. If Steve Goodwin and his gaggle of yes-men are really after a “new breed” of college president — the kind that’s good at schmoozing the legislature and fund raising — then how come the other 2 finalists are very much old-school academic types, complete with tweed jackets that have leather patches on the elbows?
Talk about simple answers to simple questions. The entire search was a sham. And I think Judge Robert King deserves tremendous praise for being the first person of any stature to publicly throw a bullshit flag on the entire ridiculous process.
But back to the “new breed” thing. I’ll raise: who says Mike Garrison is so damn good at schmoozing (the legislature or anybody else), and what makes you think he’d be a decent fundraiser?
He had an absolutely horrible relationship with the legislature. Ask around. They hated him. He’d never return their phone calls, mostly because he thought he was too good to have to answer to a bunch of crazy rednecks. Now I’m no fan of the West Virginia legislature either, but no one has every tried to pass me off as a “good schmoozer,” and certainly not to the tune of a $275K job which I had no other apparent qualifications for.
And what makes anybody think he’ll be a good fundraiser? Sure, Pushkar is for him, but are other people — you know, the ones who care about more than just the ‘ball team — are they really going to hand over their money to this guy? Someone with no academic experience, who only has the job because his buddies to gave it to him?
Call me crazy, but that’s not the type of thing that usually inspires donors to get out their checkbooks.
See you in the comments.
April 4, 2007 at 8:02 am
You’re dead-on, HK. People give to a university because they’re inspired to support something noble and worthwhile, even though it won’t benefit them personally. No one’s ever accused Garrison of being inspiring. I’ve talked to a couple of regular, major donors who’ve already promised to quit contributing if this clown gets picked for president.
April 4, 2007 at 9:47 am
People give to a university for a tax deduction and a bronze plaque in the hallway. Or if they want a really big tax deduction, their name above the door of the building. That’s about as noble as these people get.
April 4, 2007 at 11:46 am
Hey HK2 the legislature likes Mike they may have had some issues with Wise but it was he and Keith Burdette who would smooth it over.
April 4, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I’m not sure where the last commenter’s getting his info. I was at the legislature when Garrison was chief of staff, and the legislators all thought he was an incompetent jackass. Burdette did OK on the Senate side, because he’d served there, but he was a disaster in the House.
I guess Garrison and Burdette probably thought they were smoothing things over. If you worked in the governor’s office, which this Garrison fanboy might have, that’s probably what they told you. But that just goes to show how out of touch they were and how bad they were at their jobs.
April 4, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I understand that you do not want him to be Presiedent of WVU but you have got to give the devil his due. He is good at making things happen when it comes to impacting public policy.
April 4, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Are you kidding me? Name one item of public policy that Garrison’s been responsible for. Sure, he’s damn good at getting himself appointed to things, but that’s not public policy.
April 4, 2007 at 4:57 pm
Lets try med mal reform, workers compenastion reform, promise scholarships, tax policy, higher edcuation reforms, health insurance to name a few.
Mike is a bit of policy wonk in addition to his other talents.
I am sure that will disappoint you.
April 4, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Mike is a bit of policy wonk in addition to his other talents.
I am sure that will disappoint you.
You sound like you might have a little bit of a crush.
Legislation in the areas you mention may have been passed while Garrison was in the Wise administration, but it wasn’t because of him. And some of your examples don’t even pass the giggle test. Promise came along while Satterfield was running things. Any Wise-era higher education reform was driven by the legislature, not the governor. And Brooks McCabe was the force behind the workers’ comp stuff.
I’ve seen no indication at all that Garrison knows or cares anything about policy.
April 4, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Damn you cannot deal with truth, the results speak for themselves! He understands policy!
April 4, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Well, Mikey told him so, so it must be true, right?
April 4, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Uh, hate to bust your bubble, but PROMISE was passed by Underwood. Wise tied PROMISE funding to gray machines and got it funded. Sen. Lloyd Jackson created it…Underwood passed it. Garrison didn’t have a damn thing to do with it. That’s just fact!
April 4, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Mike Garrison’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
April 4, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Mike Garrison invented the question mark, as well as paper currency and the mechanical milker. Top that, Nellis.
April 4, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Nellis was very good. Garrison will find it hard to out wonk Nellis.
April 4, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Back when he was Chief of Staff, Mike Garrison hit an intern in the head with one of his man-boobs, breaking her neck in 3 places. He did this to remind the Governor’s staff once more that Mike Garrison giveth, and Mike Garrison taketh away.
April 4, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Mike Garrison’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mike Garrison.
April 4, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Mike Garrison won the world kickboxing championship and the Nobel Prize in Physics — on the same weekend. Seriously. How can you not want that in a president? The results speak for themselves, people.
April 4, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Sure, PROMISE was created in 1999, but with no specific funding level and no guaranteed benefits. It took the Wise administration to give it substance and funding through video lottery revenue. Garrison was the tax chief at the time. He was part of the solution.
April 4, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Haters:
“We mock what we don’t understand.”
Dan Akroyd, Spies Like Us.
April 4, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Yeah Nellis he cut and ran to Kansas only to comeback when he might get ahead. If he cared about WVU he would have never left. What an opportunist. Just like Belein he will cut when the grass gets greener. He has done it once he will do it again.
We do not need a carpetbagger.
April 4, 2007 at 10:22 pm
The stones that they lift in the World’s Strongest Man competition are Mike Garrison’s balls.
April 4, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Carpetbagger: You’re right. We should pick a president who couldn’t get hired at any other college or university in the country, just to make sure he can’t leave. And that’s Garrison. In any other state, he couldn’t even get an interview for a job running a community college.
April 4, 2007 at 10:36 pm
One night when he was just screwing around in his spare time, Mike Garrison invented scholarships AND slot machines. Next time you see him, thank him for your Promise money, you ungrateful haters.
April 4, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Mike Garrison can make a rock so heavy even he can’t lift it — and then lift the fucker anyway.
April 4, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I did once hear someone very high up in WV government say that Hardesty was a brilliant choice because he was just qualified to run WVU but not good enough to go anywhere else (like Gee).
Maybe this is the new model. Of course, it sort of affirms that WVU will always be lower-middle.
We should have tried to get someone like Sylvia Mathews. Now that would have been a great choice for WVU President.
April 5, 2007 at 8:20 am
Sylvia Mathews would have been an inspired choice. I have no idea if she was interested in the job. But if she was, I’m sure she — like most other top-notch prospective candidates — quickly found out that the search was rigged, and decided to avoid the possibility of losing to a blowhard lobbyist with no apparent qualifications for the position. Extraordinarily qualified people like Mathews, who have all the options in the world (and might actually be able to move WVU forward), have no reason to put up with this sort of blatant, banana-republic corruption.
April 5, 2007 at 8:22 am
As to the debate over Garrison’s role in the Wise Administration, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. He did occupy a key role in the Administration and while perhaps not the driving force behind any of the policy initiatives (such as they were, but that’s another debate) he was highly involved.
Again, though, we are drifting from the central question: So, in what way does that experience qualify him to be WVU President.
Assuming, for argument’s sake, that he shares responsibility for all that was good about the Wise Administration and is devoid of blame for all that was bad about it, can someone state how that makes him qualified to run the University?
April 5, 2007 at 8:54 am
I’m still wondering why Jim McLaughlin wasn’t nominated.
April 5, 2007 at 9:44 am
Maybe McLaughlin was nominated. We’d never know. The whole process was kept completely secret until the three finalists were announced. And if Jim Mc. were a candidate, Steve Goodwin sure as hell wouldn’t have let him get into the final three.
April 5, 2007 at 11:06 am
It’s such a shame. Imagine how much more fun state of the university speeches would be.
April 5, 2007 at 11:37 am
Mike Garrison is Khalid Sheikh Muhammad. You read it here first.
April 5, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Mike Garrison freed the British Marines while eating a hot dog and then corralled Bob Huggins at a discount.